Quaran-teeming with Angst
Disclaimer: During the duration of our closure, the staff at The Forge has decided to forego our usual weekly format. Instead, each day we will publish an article written by one of our staff members addressing their personal responses during this time. Therefore, the opinions expressed in these articles solely represent those of the author. We hope to return to our traditional publishing schedule soon.
Do you know how tired I am of this? Man, I never realized how much I did, not until there was nothing to do. I'm furious! I stay in one room all day and stare at two different screens and neither of them make me feel nice! What misery. Its been a month? Who cares! I base my days on sleep, so I've only had around 4 days in the last week. I don't even know it was a week, in all honesty. Days full of nothing accomplished and nothing learned. Time is fake and it vexes me more than any reality. My education is a shell of what it was, and my motivation is a poorly veneered farce. My home is far more crowded than it ought to be this time of year, and much too noisy. I worry over my very future. What if the productivity lost in this overture of illness translates to my loss of federal grant in college? That is only a vague nagging, however, I tire even of worrying. Who would think that with so much time to myself, so much time to rest and nothing to demand my physical exertion, that I would be beset by such egregious exhaustion. My body aches. What even goes on in that world I called home? Not a clue, not from me. What point is there in knowing? I no longer reside there. My days are only a keyboard, two trips to the kitchen, and a shower, if I remember. I haven't changed clothes in a week, not a joke at all. Maybe I don't remember how to? Surely, I must. In short: I am squalid and disenchanted with my lot, and with the lot of all others. Were I to be given one wish, it would not be for things to be as they were, I would wish only that I could sleep until things are sorted in their own time. I do need the rest, after all.
Oh, on second thought! The flowers outside my home are blooming, and they are quite gorgeous. Maybe it isn't all so bad.