Your January Horoscope
Ah, the new year! It's time for new classes, new resolutions, and most importantly: new horoscopes! We at HQ have been tirelessly spinning out fresh, brand-new fortunes to help guide you through this first month. Take a look below and find the fortunes that have been determined for you by the stars above!
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Watch your step! This month, be very careful and aware of your surroundings. An unexpected bump in the pavement or a hidden step could turn any good day into an inconvenient one. Maybe your shoes'll get scuffed up, or worse, you'll spill your coffee!
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Try something new. Like, seriously, do it. For those of you that do, something life altering will come of it. It could be a small impact or a big one, but either way, it'll be worth it.
Pisces (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20): Had an apple recently? It might be a good idea to have one for a snack sometime soon... or at least I think that's what the fortune is. When a message goes from Neptune, to Mercury, to Pomona, to Renenutet, and onwards, sometimes some words get lost in translation. Since there's a chance that some kind of an error occurred, it'd be a safe bet to eat plenty of different fruits this month - just to be safe, ya know?
Aries (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19): You know that thing you've been really wanting for a while. Now's the time to treat yourself! Just the fact that the fates need to tell you to do something for yourself really says a lot. You deserve this!
Taurus (Apr. 20 - May. 20): This month, allow yourself to get lots of sleep. Plenty of sleep leads to plenty of dreams, and some of the higher-ups tells me that you're gonna have some amazing dreams this month if you do. Let yourself rest and wonder - doesn't that just sound amazing right now?
Gemini (May. 21 - Jun. 21): All of your hard work at school's going to pay off this month. You're going to blow everyone away with an assignment. I'm talkin' straight-up A+++ work. Go ahead and give yourself a preemptive pat on the back, and don't forget to celebrate afterwards as well!
Cancer (Jun. 22 - Jul. 22): Keep track of what your teachers say this month. Not because of anything academic, but because someone will say something that will impact you. It may even play a crucial role in how you live your life from then onwards. So do yourself a favor, and pay very close attention this month.
Leo (Jul. 23 - Aug. 23): Go exploring! We at HQ believe an adventure is just what you need this month. Who knows what you'll find?
Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sep. 22): Slow and steady wins the race, so stop moving so fast! Sometimes it's very good to take a second to breathe and look around. And besides, you'd hate to miss something important by moving too fast!
Libra (Sep. 23 - Oct. 22): This is the time to go bold. Don't hold yourself back this month; let your true colors shine. Survey says it's the right thing to do this time of year.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Apple pie, cherry pie, pumpkin pie, strawberry pie. What do these things have in common? They're all circles!! Well, only if you bake it that way at least. It looks like the big guys didn't think this one through, so I'll slip you a spiritual get out of jail free card! It's not physical, but it'll make sure that you avoid one minor annoyance that would've otherwise happened. Enjoy!
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): It's time to move on. You know its not very good to say hung up over something, so get a move on. Just focus on living in the moment and doing the right thing. Life's too short to be spending all of your time on something that should be left alone.